The Archaeologist

As someone who loves himself, it’s extremely weird to admit this: Whenever I’m at the gym, I hate when people look at me when I’m lifting. I get extremely embarrassed, spill copious amounts of spaghetti, and even get distracted from my lift, although the last one isn’t a common occurrence. It makes me sound like a big pussy, but it’s the truth.

This most recently happened last Wednesday. I was on my final set of five for deadlifts, which was an attempt at a personal record. Right after I completed the first rep, I noticed that just about everyone in the free weights area just stopped what they were doing and stared at me as I was deadlifting. Despite Call Me Maybe blaring through my earphones, it took all my willpower to push it all out of my mind and focus on completing every single rep. The last one was a bitch, but in the end, I was a winner.

The point of all this? Fuck yeah deadlifts.

If you follow video games at all, I’m sure you’ve noticed the buzz surrounding E3 this week, which involved beautiful performances from Sony and Nintendo.

Naturally, one of the biggest things to be revealed was the new trailer for Super Smash Bros. 4, which showed off Villager (Animal Crossing) and Mega Man as newcomers. Soon after, however, we got an extremely surprising addition to the roster: Wii Fit Trainer.

Naturally, like most everyone else, I was less than ecstatic when I first saw this. However, the more I think about it, the more I love the idea, and I’ve pretty much decided that she will be my main if Isaac or Matthew from the Golden Sun series doesn’t make the cut.

Plus, as a fitness fanatic, how can you NOT love Miss Glutes here? I’d let her weigh in on me any day.

So I recently ordered Code Of Princess—which is set to arrive around Tuesday—on Amazon. I’m still kicking myself for not knowing this game came out last October, considering Atlus is one of my favorite video game companies and games like this are right down my alley.

The big problem with me when I get new games is that I get so sucked into them that I ignore everything else, including going to the gym. It takes all my willpower and then some to rip myself away and hit the weights, but then I feel even better that I did.

When did being an unhealthy tub of shit become a valid lifestyle in the US? What’s normal here is basically a carnival attraction everywhere else in the world.

This is what happens when I have Monday off, coupled with some time under the sun.